Contents
- My Sciatica Experience after herniating my L5S1 disc and the steps I took before getting an L5S1 microdiscectomy.
- Part One: The Sciatica Begins (Age, 23)
- The Severity of my Pain before I had my microdiscectomy:
- After my MRI I finally learned that I had a herniated disc: L5S1 to be specific.
- Part 3: Leaving Norway and my Sciatica Experience/ Herniated Disc Experience in France (Age, 25)
- Things I did not do during my herniated L5S1 sciatica experience:
- Making the Decision and Arranging My Microdiscectomy: The Big Change in my Sciatica Experience with a herniated L5S1 disc
- The L5S1 Microdiscectomy Happens
- What I learned from my sciatica and L5S1 herniated disc experience…
My Sciatica Experience after herniating my L5S1 disc and the steps I took before getting an L5S1 microdiscectomy.
Hello all you people who most likely suffer from sciatica or herniated discs! So this is my first post in my sciatica experience/ microdiscectomy recovery series. I had a few YouTube videos up and I decided to fill in the gaps and continue the journey in writing. In this detailed post, I will outline the whole history of my sciatica experience from my first fall and L5S1 herniation and symptoms up to my decision to get an L5S1 microdiscectomy.
You can check out my other blog posts related to my microdiscectomy recovery here!
My herniated disc experience is something that deeply affected every aspect of who I am, and so although I do not promise that anything I tried will work with you, I do hope that those of you out there who are searching for solutions may find this useful. This post is also extremely long because I did not want to leave out details. Getting a microdiscectomy is a huge decision and the microdiscectomy recovery can be a little complicated.
But the eventual result of my microdiscectomy was amazing. I’m mad I didn’t choose to have a microdiscectomy earlier!
Also please know that I am not a doctor nor am I certified to give any medical advice. Please consult your trusted healthcare professional before trying anything to help alleviate your pain or recover from a herniated disc! Don’t try to do surgery on yourself! Don’t stab yourself with needles! etc.
Part One: The Sciatica Begins (Age, 23)
Accident #1: Herniating my L5S1 disc
I blame two accidents for my herniated L5S1 disc and the start of my sciatic pain. The first one was a nasty fall down a narrow, carpeted staircase. I had just woken up and was rushing to get to an appointment. Wearing socks on a carpeted staircase= Slip N’ Slide.
I slipped backwards and landed really hard on my butt. I couldn’t get up afterwards. I made a phone call in which I said “I will be late, I seem to have fallen and cannot get up.” Probably not the best idea since that caused a major morning freakout among friends and family.
I spent the day in the ER. A doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Then I went home. It was just a broken tailbone.
Can a broken tailbone cause a herniated disc in another part of the spine? No idea. It was an L5S1 herniation, which is located pretty low down on the spine. Regardless, broken tailbones suck and I admit I was anxious for it to heal so I didn’t take it as easy as I should have.
At the time, my (bougie AF conservatory) paid for me to go to a physical therapist and trainer a few times a week to prevent performance related injuries. I went there a few days later and the therapist seemed a little worried that I could not lift up my right leg while lying on my back. My right leg was and is the part of my body that felt the most pain when I had full-fledged sciatica due to the L5S1 herniation.
Accident #2 that probably made my herniation worse
I was anxious to get on with my life and leave my new nickname “Broken Butt Babeesh” behind. After a week I ignored my pain and rode my bicycle everywhere with my heavy musical instrument on my back. I was 23 and obviously unstoppable.
I graduated. Time to move out of the slippery staircase house. I had all of my books that I (have and will probably) never read in an old wooden trunk. It was freakishly heavy. My dad and I both tried to carry it down the SAME cursed tailbone-busting staircase. I was on the bottom.
POP!
That was weird. I felt a snap on the lower right side of my back. It was something I had never felt before. I tried to get back to work but I actually was in pain. I had to stop. I felt like a total lame spoiled brat princess as I watched my dad and best friend/roommate struggle to carry all of my stuff out of the house as I sat on the couch (which they also had to carry without my help). Then my mom called and told me that my childhood dog had just died.
IT WAS A SIGN! Worst day ever. The real beginning of my sciatica experience and the long road of pain until I got the L5S1 microdiscectomy.
The Gradual Descent: sharp pains down my leg
I had a few action packed months after the SNAP CRACKLE and POP that happened in my back. I had a summer at home, I went on a long orchestra tour of Central America, and then I moved across the Atlantic to spend a year studying in Norway.
I was somewhere in Panama when I tried to go for a run when I really felt a long, sharp pain in my right leg. The pain had been present and persistent, but it arrived so gradually that I never really was worried. I was relatively active at that time of my life, but I had taken some time away from physical activity after I moved home from school. I assumed since that had been my first attempt to run for a while that I had injured my hamstring or stretched a muscle or something like that.
Time passed and I arrived in Norway limping with pain. I had never had a running-related injury before so I just thought it was part of the experience…that it was normal to last for months. I needed to get someone to help me bring my suitcases to my student residence because walking was a total chore.
“Take ibuprofen and see what happens,” said everybody.
I couldn’t exercise anymore. I started to COMPLAIN. I became the complaining American living abroad.
I didn’t realize that I had sciatica from my L5S1 hernation. It was getting worse and worse. No exercises could help relieve my sciatica. I would have to deal with this for two years before finally getting an L5S1 microdiscectomy.
The Severity of my Pain before I had my microdiscectomy:
My Pain Symptoms definitely fluctuated during my sciatica experience/ herniated L5S1 disc, but generally these thing remained the same the entire time.
- I could not stand up for more than 15 minutes at a time.
- I had a lot of trouble dressing myself.
- I could not find a bodily position that was not painful.
- I had difficulty walking; limping and limited to a slow pace.
- I could not lay flat on my back with both legs fully extended; I had to keep my right leg bent at all times.
- I could not really pick small objects up off the ground (though I seemed to always drop them).
- Sneezing was the WORST. It felt like my spine was going to explode out of me.
- Paranoia/ constant fear related to knowing I would not be able to run or move quickly out of the way if suddenly a [car, bear, evil person, boat, train, asteroid, bicycle, horse, ex boyfriend (ok fine jk if an ex is reading this)] suddenly appeared.
Part 2: Du Har et Ryggproblem (You Have a Spinal Problem)
Velkommen to the Norwegian Health System (Age, 24)
I had to wait weeks to see the physical therapist for my sciatica at my new conservatory. The meeting lasted five minutes. “Oh you don’t have a leg problem, it’s a problem with your spine!” And that was it. This was not my running injury experience, it was my sciatica experience.
Thankfully there was a chiropractic clinic next to my conservatory, and so I started the long, winding, EXPENSIVE maze of Trying To Find A Way To Fix My Herniated Disc. Here are the characters I met and things I tried during my sciatica experience:
Chriopractor #1 (weekly appointments for approximately 2-3 months):
“You have bursa.” “You don’t have bursa.” “Don’t you remember what I told you? It’s bursa.” “I will fix this.” “Ok I think you should get an MRI.” “Oh it is just a slight bulging disc, nothing I can’t fix. “You DO feel better.” “You need to keep coming back.” “You need cortisone injections.”
After my MRI I finally learned that I had a herniated disc: L5S1 to be specific.
Before that I just thought I maybe had a herniated disc, but the MRI confirmed it.
But let’s continue with more steps I took to heal my herniated disc without surgery and find relief from my sciatica.
Cortisone Injections experience for my herniated disc
Very messy office, man didn’t wear gloves. I got injections around my spine and butt.
Day 1: It works! I am a new person! I can have my life back!
Day 2: No more pain pills! I can go about my day without being depressed!
Day 3: The pain is back. 100%. Cue depression.
The cortisone injection treatment did help me when I had my herniated L5S1 disc. Some people find a lot of success in treating their pain related to a herniated disc with cortisone injections, but it definitely did not help me.
Chiropractor #2 (one time)
Said a lot of general things. Took a tiny hammer apparatus and slightly tapped my back a few times. Told me that it sucks to be in my position.
Chiropractor #3 (one time)
Said a lot of the same, but admitted that he could only help me so much. Recommended physical therapy and massage therapy to relieve my sciatica (THANK YOU).
Physical Therapist for my herniated L5S1 disc experience:
Gave me gentle exercises. Educated me about where my pain is coming from. Helped me plan a routine I could do on my own. I still do some of her exercises today. I went weekly for about a month. The exercises are also the same as the microdisectomy recovery exercises: lots of core training but nothing too intense.
Joining the Gym (6 months after pain and complications from my L5S1 herniation started)
I started a very consistent, yet very low impact exercise routine to try to recover from my hernaited disc. Every day. I don’t think it helped my pain but it was a good distraction and got me out of my room. The Norwegian winter was in full swing and my mobility issues, pain spasms, general depression, and disdain for the world were not helped by the seemingly perpetual darkness.
Sauna!!
Norwegian bonus: my school and gym both had saunas. I spent a lot of time in them. I don’t remember it really helping pain-wise during my sciatica experience but it was nice.
Heat seemed to always help with my L5S1 herniation. It also probably helped me psychologically to spend some time there.
Massage Therapy to help heal my herniated disc (weekly appointments starting 8 months in)
I still remember my kind therapist’s name: Anniken. She was a ray of sunshine in all of this mess. During this whole process, the massage therapy was one of the few things that gave me immediate, lasting relief from my sciatica. She would work so deeply that I would leave the appointment with huge bruises all over. It was nothing like a relaxing massage you would receive at a spa!
So if you are suffering from sciatica or a herniated sick and seeing what works before you opt to have a microdiscectomy, I recommend trying massage therapy for some relief.
Acupuncture (weekly appointments with massage therapy starting 9 months after my herniated disc)
My dear Anniken would consistently suggest using needles as a way to relieve the muscle pain that came with my herniated L5S1 disc. In my sciatica experience, a lot of my pain came from using certain sets of muscles excessively to keep my body in less painful positions. I am not a needle person. I am not much of an eastern medicine person, either. One day I consented to her jamming a very long, thick needle into my hip. The pain was what any needle hater would imagine that being like. I cringe when I think of it now…but it actually helped a lot.
Each massage/acupuncture session would give me about a week and a half of relief from my sciatica and herniated disc complications. By relief I mean that I was able to do my daily duties without crying. I don’t want to sound overly dramatic but that is the truth.
I could also bend my torso forward without stinging leg pain. I also must add that I was completely pumped up with over the counter painkillers at this time…
One of the reasons why I had my L5S1 microdiscectomy was because I was taking tons of pain pills and that wasn’t a good idea…
Pills to relieve my herniated disc sciatica
Tylenol (acetaminophen), Advil (Ibuprofen), Naproxen… my L5S1 herniated disc experience revolved around a colorful collection of pills. This section requires a bit of reflection and philosophizing: I am SO thankful that I did not have access to prescription painkillers at this time. The painkillers that seem somewhat ubiquitous in the USA are uncommon in Europe. I would have become a complete addict in no time.
The amount of over the counter painkillers I was taking to combat my sciatica was enough to make my doctor in the USA gasp. It all could have been much, much worse if I had been popping oxycodones and not Advils, even if popping Advils isn’t so healthy to begin with.
I also took turmeric and some herbal stuff a very anti western medicine family member recommended for me. But I always took them with a handful of Advil so I can’t say what they did to help.
Food and sciatica
This was a bit unintentional and mainly due to the extremely high cost of living in Norway, but I pretty much unintentionally had a gluten free, vegetarian diet while I lived there. I was the lowest weight I have ever been in my life, but I don’t know if that was a good thing.
Alcohol with a herniated disc
A beer in a bar in Norway cost the equivalent of nearly 13 US dollars when I lived there. I drank with some friends from time to time, but alcohol wasn’t a large part of my life while I was there.
Last Chiropractor (a handful of times before I left Norway)
By recommendation of a very athletic friend who found some success with him…He liked to be the cool hot shot guy and told me I should have more sex if I wanted to heal my herniated L5S1 disc. Then he said he liked to do that to freak out Americans because they don’t have the same healthcare rules in Norway so he can say outrageous things like that.
Then I had to strip to my underwear so he could work on my back (which is normal for chiropractors but felt weird after all of that.)
He was Mr. Confident and told me that all the other chiropractors that I saw were total losers who suck and that the women I saw just weren’t physically strong enough to crack backs (not sure if he was still trying to be shocking or whatever). He was surely going to solve all my herniated disc problems, he assured me.
He did his thing and gave me a ton of new exercises to do to help my L5S1 herniation. I did them all religiously, and when I reported I wasn’t feeling much better he was the first person since my injury who admitted “Maybe you need the microdiscectomy surgery…”
So yes, he was sort of a weirdo, but I’m grateful that he mentioned that surgery could even be an option! It was a big breakthrough in my journey to heal my herniated L5S1 disc.
My microdiscectomy results were so good and I’m thankful for his role in pointing me towards that direction.
Part 3: Leaving Norway and my Sciatica Experience/ Herniated Disc Experience in France (Age, 25)
I left out the part where I traveled all over Central Asia. I did that. It was painful but now I think about that time in my life and I don’t see a girl defined by her chronic pain. I will write about my travel and sciatica in another post. Sciatica sucks, but I wasn’t going to let it prevent me from visiting this cool yurt:
The Caribbean…
No I did not go on a luxury vacation. I am very lucky in that my profession allows me to travel the world, often for free. I went to the Caribbean as a member of an orchestra that toured the region. I wanted to mention it because the heat and all the swimming I did there helped my herniated disc pain a little. It still was a problem, though, and I had a lot of anxiety because I could not always perform to my own standards due to the pain. Lol I think I may be the queen of performance anxiety. I feel icky thinking about it right now…moving on.
Moving to France and my Changes in Herniated disc Treatment
I moved to France to continue my education (Awesome level of education that costs next to nothing? Sign me up!). I no longer was surrounded by polite Norwegians who were happy to switch to English when I needed to explain the more detailed aspects of my injury and pain to them…I now had French doctors who gave me the stink-eye as I stumbled through my L5S1 herniated disc situation in French. They mentioned that I should take some Ibuprofen.
I mean, they weren’t all bad. I had paid to be part of the French health system. I wasn’t demanding an expensive surgery or any surgery at all. I just wanted opinions and possible answers. Sometimes I felt like they saw me as a health system leech since I wasn’t French. That’s all speculation, though. Part of it was also just due to cultural differences.
Acupuncture in France to help my sciatica
I got acupuncture done for my L5S1 herniation. The only place where it was partially covered by the health system was with a doctor who seemed half asleep the entire time. I missed Anniken in Norway. This lady left me laying on a table shivering in my underwear with needles all over me. She even forgot to take some out! My worst nightmare…finding random needles in me.
I need to be frank though and mention that my positive acupuncture experience in Norway wasn’t actually traditional acupuncture for my L5S1 herniation. I don’t know if Anniken had her own technique, but she definitely targeted the places where my muscles were tight and not the general pressure points around the body as dictated by Chinese traditional medicine.
Thanks to the fact that one of my only friends in France during my first year was of Chinese origins and had her own acupuncture routine, I learned that this pre-microdiscectomy experience in France was a more “traditional” acupuncture.
Did acupuncture help my sciatica? Sort of? It was better than painkillers but not as good as my experience in Norway. I also was not so keen on spending 50 Euros every week on acupuncture that worked “just a little” for my herniated disc complications. In Norway a lot of my care, even the acupuncture, was covered by the insurance I had there. It was not the Norwegian public health insurance, though.
Swimming with a herniated disc
I swam a lot to try to counteract the L5S1 herniated disc pain. It was ok. I would feel ok immediately after but it wasn’t some magical fix. Sciatica sucks!!!!!
Diet and Alcohol to help my herniated disc
Or not… My diet went downhill in France. Hello bread and cheese and affordable prices! And wine.
French Routine and my Overall Situation There After Nearly Two Years of Pain from a herniated L5S1 disc.
I took a lot of pills. I still complained a lot. I still had an invisible injury and had trouble making new friends. Sometimes I thought they thought I was making it all up. I was paranoid. My L5S1 herniation experience was the worst nightmare. I seemingly had it all going for me…living abroad, a wonderful education, a loving family, yet I was horribly depressed. My decision to get an L5S1 microdiscectomy after all of this was the best decision I ever made in my life no joke.
I didn’t realize how much this injury affected my professional life. It was sort of like that frog in the pot of water idea (who the hell came up with that anyway?). I started in warm water and by the time it was boiling I didn’t realize until it was too late. I mean this relating to my musical life. My L5S1 herniation experience pretty much was ruining my career.
Thankfully “too late” didn’t mean I was dead in boiling water, but it did mean that I wasn’t improving much as a musician, and my reputation in the community was starting to chip away since I couldn’t give my 100%. Cue lots of crises and anxiety.
I mean, I have always had anxiety issues especially relating to my musical life. But after two years of sciatica and a herniated disc… I was in a pretty dark place. I picked fights with my roommates, I overreacted to culture clashes in France…one particular straining experience was when I lost my mind because our internet wasn’t working. I look back and feel embarrassed by a lot of my behavior when I had my herniated disc and sciatica.
As time wore on, my pain plateaued. In the past nearly two years there were times when I could not escape the sciatica no matter what position I was in, but after my first year in France I had fewer spasms like that. It just…was. My herniated disc pain wasn’t getting worse, but it certainly wasn’t getting better. And I was definitely not getting used it it.
I kept thinking of getting the L5S1 microdiscectomy…but would the microdicectomy results be good? What about re herniation after the microdiscectomy? What is the L5S1 Microdiscectomy recovery like?
My Pain Pity Party before my L5S1 microdiscectomy
My music teacher was so patient with me, but everybody has their own limits for excuses.
In a personal context I was a cranky, angry person. My sciatica pain was my constant companion, from the moment I woke up (if it let me sleep at all) to the moment I went to bed. It was my identity: “Hello, I have a herniated L5S1 disc, nice to meet you! My name is…”
Friends and family, although always supportive, felt a little frustrated because there was really nothing they could do. I couldn’t just demand their pity. If my L5S1 herniation experience before getting a microdiscectomy had gone on for even longer I probably would have joined a chronic pain support group. I was really stressing my parents out and a support group could have been at least cathartic.
My words and writing skill are limited when it comes to describing pain. I also know that people tire of reading too much about another person’s chronic pain, so I’m moving on.
Doctors and Pain
I recently read a very interesting memoir written by a neurosurgeon. As someone with a herniated disc and sciatica, the whole book, even the brain stuff, was so fascinating, but the most fascinating part was the peek into the seasoned doctor’s mindset, especially how and why he was so detached from his patients’ pain.
I mention this because none of my doctors seemed to give two shits when, during my appointments, I would start me long boo hoo monologue about how my L5S1 herniated disc is ruining my life. That would always make me so upset. This book helped me see things from the doctor’s perspective.
Things I did not do during my herniated L5S1 sciatica experience:
Yoga
“Oh, do yoga!” people would say, sometimes with a tone like I should be thanking them for solving all my problems with their suggestion. As time went on I got more and more bitter. I CAN BARELY MOVE HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO FUCKING YOGA. Whew, sorry I had to get that out.
In my L5S1 herniation experience, even thinking of yoga was painful! Due to sciatica, I could barely extend my right leg…the idea of lifting my body off the ground to do a downward dog made me cringe. In my state with my L5S1 herniated disc, yoga was impossible.
But, I don’t want to dismiss yoga. It can be good for different people in different situations. It just wasn’t right for me at that time.
A Variety of Drugs before my L5S1 microdiscectomy
I was the over the counter painkiller queen to treat my pain from my herniated L5S1 disc. I never took prescription painkillers, nor did I try medicinal marijuana. I am so thankful prescription painkillers were not and are not part of my life. I do not have an opinion on whether or not marijuana would have been helpful. The people who recommended it to me did not have sciatica, and I just didn’t try it.
Lots of other homeopathic or alternative medicine stuff (essential oils, kinds of herbs, crystals, non Western Medicine practices)
I’m not the biggest believer in a lot of alternative medicinal practices, but this whole herniated L5S1 ordeal made me respect them as possible sources of relief for people who have not found solutions using Western Medicine. If my microdiscectomy results had been bad, I probably would have tried a lot more of these options.
I didn’t pack up and go home
I am stubborn. I think living abroad and choosing to travel made this whole L5S1 herniation ordeal much more difficult (different languages and health systems…), but choosing not to go back to my parents’ house in the USA was also my way of not letting this sciatica pain win. Would it have been sorted out earlier if I had just packed my bags and left Norway right at the beginning? I honestly don’t know.
I also was caught up in the rat race of my high competition career path. In my paranoia, taking time off, even for my health, would have been career suicide. I thought the L5S1 microdiscectomy recovery would take forever. In hindsight, that is so untrue.
Lastly, I happened to receive a very generous scholarship to study in Norway… I’m talking an amount that usually isn’t open to classical musicians like myself. If I had gone home I wouldn’t have received any of it. Funds from that one scholarship actually paid for most of my education in France as well, and so I am very happy that I stayed.
Making the Decision and Arranging My Microdiscectomy: The Big Change in my Sciatica Experience with a herniated L5S1 disc
During a visit to the USA
I went to see my primary care doctor in the USA during a brief trip home. She was horrified at the amount of painkillers I was taking. I told her all of my L5S1 disc problems and about my entire sciatica experience and still got that wavering well it sounds bad but it may not be bad enough for a microdiscectomy responses.
She did this thing where she poked both of my legs with a toothpick to see if my feeling was the same in each leg. This was apparently supposed to show if I had nerve damage. My right leg (where my pain was concentrated) felt slightly less pain. A teeny tiny bit. There you go, that was enough reason to call up a neurosurgeon. Fucking dumb toothpick. What if she had just poked slightly less or harder?
A toothpick was between me and my sciatica relief. Sigh.
The date is set for my L5S1 microdiscectomy
My doctor called a neurosurgeon friend. He had a last minute appointment in a few days. I went to his clinic and spent approximately 5 minutes with him explaining my L5S1 herniation and sciatca. He looked at my MRI. “How about we plan the L5S1 microdiscectomy next Tuesday?” he said. It was a Thursday.
“I usually plan my microdiscectomies at the end of the day because they are the easiest,” he added.
It all moved so fast, but I had really felt like I had tried every possible way to fix my sciatica and herniated L5S1 before I opted for the microdiscectomy surgery. This was after almost exactly two years of pain due to complications with the herniated disc. Suddenly I was going to have the L5S1 microdisectomy in a matter of days (LOL the American health system. People seem to wait a year in Europe just to get a dentist appointment…).
Problems with Surgery: Would my L5S1 microdiscectomy have good results? What about the microdiscectmy recovery?
Some people were very angry upon hearing that I would undergo the L5S1 microdiscectomy surgery. Lots of people felt the need to share their negative opinions with me. Most of those people didn’t know me or my herniated disc/ sciatica situation intimately.
One new member of the family (by marriage) who was a chiropractor decided he would go to everyone at a family event and talk very loudly about how I was making the wrong decision for my health by getting the L5S1 microdiscectomy. He had never seen my medical records before, and he didn’t even seem to realize that I could hear him. I felt furious…he had never herniated a disc before!
Other people were so sure this would result in more problems that pretty much anything, including throwing myself off a bridge, would have been a better option to them than getting the L5S1 microdiscectomy.
I googled every problem that could happen related to a bad microdiscectomy and freaked myself out. Of course, people who have negative experiences are more likely to take to venting online since the people who had successful L5S1 microdiscectomy surgeries were too busy getting on with their lives (It has taken me nearly two years to write my own story out!!!!).
I get it: it just feels weird to spend 5 minutes with a surgeon who has the social skills of a medical textbook and decide to let him cut into my body. It also seemed like the space time continuum ruptured right outside of his clinic and he was being sucked out of the exam room into a major black hole as soon as he entered the examination room.
This guy did not have a minute to spare to hear about my L5S1 herniated disc situation. The MRI was enough. That left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but I still was going to go through with the surgery. His social skills were not directly related to his skills as a surgeon, and the latter was obviously more important when it came to relieving my L5S1 herniation pain.
So, yes. If you decide to have a microdiscectomy, know that a ton of people will crawl out of the woodwork to let you know that you are making a bad decision. Listen to your healthcare provider and yourself. Then you can stick your tongue out at all of them when your L5S1 microdiscectomy recovery is going fabulously.
I felt that some people were legitimately MAD at me for choosing to get an L5S1 microdiscectomy, seemingly demanding explanations and justifications. HELLO? Isn’t mind numbing sciatica enough?
The L5S1 Microdiscectomy Happens
Immediately before and after the L5S1 microdiscectomy, I seemed to be really preoccupied with pizzas and burritos, or so my journal says. I ordered a shit ton of food from the hospital cafeteria and my dear old dad brought me a burrito. I also proclaimed to all the nurses that I live in Germany (I don’t).
The nurse working my floor was worried that my anesthetic hadn’t worn off entirely and so I may not have felt the burrito, two apple pies, and giant stir fry I ate in my stomach. “You could explode!!!” haha.
My high school friend visited me and accidentally saw me naked when the nurse pulled open my blanket. But he got bonus points for visiting. My brother did not visit after my microdiscectomy and so if he is reading this I still haven’t forgiven you.
But above all, I woke up laying flat on my back. I hadn’t been able to lay flat on my back with both legs extended for over two years due to the pain from my L5S1 herniated disc. This has to be the drugs I thought.
It wasn’t.
What I learned from my sciatica and L5S1 herniated disc experience…
- People are complicated, and their health problems are no different. Tons of people just offered me impromptu solutions and unsolicited advice. I know their hearts and minds were in the right place, but in my worst moments of my L5S1 herniated disc sciatica experience, these quick fixes felt like slaps in the face. “Ummm why don’t you just go to physical therapy for your herniated disc and move on with your life?” I WISH IT WERE SO EASY! Even though I have the worst aspects of my sciatica experience behind me I still am ultra cautious when talking to others about their own chronic pain or health issues. If people choose to speak to me about their own health issues, I am sure to listen and offer support but I do not give opinions unless they are solicited.
- If you are not careful, this pain can define you. I tried to find something to pursue regardless if the sciatica was unbearable. I am a babbler so it was hard to keep quiet about my condition. Traveling helped me build a sense of self worth and an identity separate from my L5S1 herniated disc pain. But I was really lucky to have that as an option. Cooking, knitting, writing…all of them are wonderful options.
- Empathy- this is my greatest takeaway. When I hear about someone else’s sciatica, herniated disc, or chronic pain, I hurt for them. When someone may be rude to me, I don’t always dismiss him or her as a jerk. I myself was curt with lots of people when I felt this pain. Even if it isn’t pain, I feel like I am more sensitive to what may be going on with a person that I cannot see. Of course it doesn’t excuse a lot of behavior, but it helps me realize that peoples’ behaviors are not always directly related to me in certain contexts. I hope I may never lose this empathy, even after my L5S1 microdiscectomy.
Thanks for reading about my sciatica experience! Have you had similar experiences?
If you found this aspect of my sciatica/ herniated disc recovery experience interesting check out my other posts related to my life and recovery after my microdiscectomy. I update every year! It is my little microdiscectomy recovery blog.
Tears! You have brought tears to my eyes. I dealt with this pain for 9 months after trying every conservative treatment. The amount of people who said “once they open you up, you’ll never be the same”. Maybe not, but I don’t think I will Be The same suffering like this. My work and Home Life were suffering. I could not be a mother! I couldn’t even seem to do anything I once did. To say that pain like this is depressing, is really an understatement. I am so thankful to have found your blog. I too love to travel and I think I leave a piece of my heart in every country I have visited. I would love to know the book you read by the neurosurgeon. My doctor was much like that too. He drives a red Tesla with white leather interior. He has a wife 25 years younger than him. He just didn’t have the time for me, but I trusted him after speaking to many doctors. I trusted him the most because he seemed the least connected.
Aw Natty it means so much to me to receive comments like this (and like the one you did on my other post)! Sometimes I wonder if people are out there reading it and I guess they are! I completely understand how other peoples’ opinions on whether or not YOU should get surgery gets so exhausting. They told me the same, that surgery would ruin me but that always left me thinking “don’t you realize I am ruined already?!” I am thankful every day that my surgery reduced my pain! I can’t imagine what it must be like to have children and motherly responsibilities and try to manage sciatica! I could barely move some days! I agree that I can’t really identify with some of my doctors either! The book is called “Do No Harm” by Henry Marsh. It was so interesting because sometimes he seems so detached from his patients’ complaints and suffering, but then you realize that he is under so much pressure that if he participated in that aspect of his patients’ care he probably wouldn’t be able to do his job. When reading the book I felt mad at him sometimes but then forgiving. It was mainly focused on brain tumors and boy it was intense! Glad I don’t have that job! Also, in your other comment you asked why I didn’t do the surgery in France. It was mainly because my family was in the USA and the recovery process would have been just much more straightforward. Also it would have been hard to get a doctor in France to agree to do the surgery without having to do all the stuff I did in Norway all over again. All the best to you and your recovery! Thanks again for your thoughtful comment 🙂
Hi Babeesh,
I have commented on your other 2 yr post anniversary but just stumbled on this one today.
You truly are a very empathic person trying to help out with other who are going with this ordeal.
I’m approaching. 7 month post op my L5/ Si microdisectomy. Though my sciatica leg pain is gone still have some back pain and pain in both upper buttocks area which is frustrating.
Like Natty ( your other commenter) I have a young family of 2 kids ( 4 and 5 ) and it has been immensely difficult to to work through this. For me it’s seems like a more mental and emotional battle and to deal with the anxiety about the future. Your blog reflects that I need to be more patient and ray of hope in long term . I’m a physician and I think doctors make the worst patients.
I had couple of questions. How did you deal with fears, anxiety and negative emotions during your experience with sciatica for 2 yrs and the during post. Op recovery.
Thanks a million again for this beautifully written blog. God bless you!
Hi Natty,
I hear you and your pain and suffering. If you wamt to connect with me you are most welcome.
Hi Babeesh,
I have commented on your other 2 yr post anniversary but just stumbled on this one today.
You truly are a very empathic person trying to help out with other who are going with this ordeal.
I’m approaching. 7 month post op my L5/ Si microdisectomy. Though my sciatica leg pain is gone still have some back pain and pain in both upper buttocks area which is frustrating.
Like Natty ( your other commenter) I have a young family of 2 kids ( 4 and 5 ) and it has been immensely difficult to to work through this. For me it’s seems like a more mental and emotional battle and to deal with the anxiety about the future. Your blog reflects that I need to be more patient and ray of hope in long term . I’m a physician and I think doctors make the worst patients.
I had couple of questions. How did you deal with fears, anxiety and negative emotions during your experience with sciatica for 2 yrs and the during post. Op recovery.
Thanks a million again for this beautifully written blog. God bless you!
Hi Emma thanks so much for your comment! I am SO sorry you have to go through all of this, and like I mentioned for Natty I can’t imagine what it must be like to have this pain and also have children depending on you! My heart goes out to you!
I remember that around 7 or 8 months after my surgery I still had lingering pain too. For me that eventually went away, and I hope you experience the same!
I agree that the emotional battle was THE absolute hardest part. I was living abroad when my sciatica was at its worst and I felt really lonely. I am so grateful that I had my family and friends always willing to listen to my complaints over the phone or online, and I am thankful that at that time I really stayed away from drinking alcohol because I knew that would have been an easy way to dull the pain and would have led to many more problems!
I remember I just threw myself into my work. I am a musician and I would just spend hours and hours practicing. I don’t think I became a better musician after all that time (it wasn’t very efficient practicing), but it certainly helped keep me sane. I am so grateful that music also allows me to travel and that was a wonderful escape, but of course that it something that isn’t easily available to everyone especially if you have children! But I think the larger goal was to find something I was passionate about that allowed me to interact with others so that I wasn’t defined by my pain.
I really hope that you will continue to recover and find relief! Hang in there!
I feel all of your pain! I’m 45 and have been suffering for the last 8 months with horrible sciatica down my right light. Staying positive is definitely a challenge, and I too have tried conservative methods with no relief. People do not understand how awful this condition is, and everyone thinks that because you’re laughing and smiling you must be feeling better. I’ve also heard “do not do surgery” unless you lose controls of your bowels, numbness, etc. I feel like I’m done waiting it out and seeing a surgeon on Feb 5th for a consult in NYC. I have two boys, 14 and 17 and I work full time from my home. This is really impacting my life as I feel like I’m always in pain, grouchy, and just can’t enjoy life like you used to. Your story gives me hope. You are way too young to be going through this Babeesh.
Emma & Natty – hang in there!
Hi Ally!
Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your experience. I am so sorry that you are going through all of that, and I completely identify with how you feel! It is especially hard because it isn’t really a visible injury and so you’re right it is easy for others to project how they think you are feeling onto you! I really hope that you find the relief you need and that, if it is the right decision for you, your surgery will be a success. After my surgery I felt sad that I had waited so long to consider it as an option, but in the end I am just grateful I went through with it. All the best to you!
Thank you because I feel like im going out of my mind the past several days in a row my sciatica took over completely and I’m on the mend from flexor replacement surgery, one of two. My hand hasn’t gotten much attention I’m afraid. Knowing that it’s real, and relating to others will help me focus one bone at a time. To my pain. I say “take a number and. SIT DOWN!
Oh Robin I am so sorry you are going through all of this!!!!
I cannot believe you dealt with this for over 2 years. I have the exact same herniation, nerve pain, sciatica. I have two small children that I run and play with, but not for the last 6 months. I’m so thankful for our American Healthcare, that had my MRI done within 3 months. I tried PT, injections, NSAIDS (I refused opiods, etc.). It was excruciating. NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THIS PAIN. Multiple steroids have assisted in allowing me to stand or walk for a whopping 10 minutes, as opposed to 5 minutes. What I loved the most about your post was hearing how.. chronic pain CAN wear on a person, it can alter our personality, making us short-tempered. I’m at the point know where I know I cannot “power though” this pain. If the pain was based on my determination to overcome it then it would be gone. My microdiscectomy is scheduled for tomorrow. I never thought I would anticipate surgery this much in my life. I’m ready to get my life and my personality back.
Oh Courtney it is so heartbreaking to hear about your (and anyone’s) experience with chronic pain. I hope your surgery went well! I think I am a completely different person now that my chronic pain is almost gone. I hope that you will be able to get back on your feet (for more then ten minutes) very soon. I almost cried the first time I went to a museum without experiencing pain…I had my life back!
Thank you for your post! I have been dealing with this for 4 months now…I have had 8 hip surgeries and first it was hip related..then after calling 911 , being admitted into hospital mainly to get the MRI … this absolute jerk ER doc told me, he has had back. & sciatic pain and it will go away in a couple weeks! What a jerk! Sometimes I REALY hate doctors….
The #1 reason I’m doing this is because I can no longer care fore my granddaughter, in all honesty I think the constant bending over & picking her up probably woke the sleeping monster regarding my herniated disk from 20 yrs ago…
Heading in for my 7:30am surgery tomorrow….praying I don’t have hip problems after.
Hi Pat I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I hope the surgery went smoothly and that you are recovering!
Thank you f or your story. Ive been suffering for 6 months and I am ready to be free from pain. Thank you!!
Hi, I wish I had found your blog long ago. I am 26 and have had two microdiscectomies; one when I was 18 and another when I was 24. The second one was incredibly difficult, since it was the second time, and I experienced major anxiety and depression following my procedure. It’s been two and a half years now, and my recovery has been excellent despite my deeply entrenched paranoia. I am still totally worried about what I’ll feel like when I’m 50. It’s really helpful to see another young woman like you having gone through the pain (which you endured for a long time, mostly without pain medicine…this was me too). I feel so alone and worried about the future, so I am incredibly grateful to read this positive blog. Thank you so much for sharing.
Wow Lara I hope you will continue to recover! I also wonder what things will be like years from now…it makes me want to be extra careful now! I really appreciate your kind words and I hope you are able to address your depression and anxiety now that the recovery is going well. All my best to you!
Hey Babeesh! I am so grateful that I stumbled onto your posts! I’m a 22 yr old student from California dealing with sciatica from a L5S1 herniation myself. It’s been about 2 and a half years since I have been dealing with this now, and honestly, like most others have said here in the comments section, it’s enough to give you depression (or in my case, to make your already existing depression a lot worse).
I started suffering with this at the beginning of my sophomore year in college when I was working part time as a gas meter reader and walking a lot as part of my job. The pain was excruciating, and I even used to get in trouble for taking elongated breaks while working. 🙁
In my case, the pain is the worst when I am standing or walking. I only get relief by either sitting or laying down. As a very active person, this has been a hindrance and has taken a toll on my physical life and social life as well., in the past few months it has even started affecting my love life.
Like you, I also love traveling, and I have not let my sciatica stop me from doing so. I studied abroad in Argentina and Chile at the end of my Sophomore year, and I am currently doing another program, this time in Brazil.
It has been a beautiful experience, but such a limited one as well. I can’t help but feel like these are supposed to be the best years of my life, and I am not living them to the best of my ability. For example, I always get invited to go on hikes, long walks in the city, or even a night out clubbing with new friends that I meet here, and I have to say no to them because I know that many of these things will involve a lot of standing, and this will be painful.
At this point, I don’t know what else to do. I have tried steroid injections (in 3 different countries now), physical therapy twice, acupuncture, and inversion therapy. All of this on top of prescription pain medicine which I feel has many negative consequences as well.
I am returning back to the states in 2 weeks and one of the first things I will do is have a consultation with my pain management doctor. I am ready to start talking about surgery with him. I have been reluctant this whole time because of the same reasons you listed on here (fears of a bad recovery, ultra-skeptical family members, etc…). However, I feel that I am ready to give this a try. I want to have the life that I want, and this pain has been keeping me from that for years now, and I’m only 22!
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experience and let you know that I found your post super motivational.
Cheers to your recovery! 🙂
Hi Moises!
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I really identify a lot with it! Having to navigate other health systems when you are in this sort of pain just makes it more depressing and burdensome, and so I admire your strength in doing all of that. Please stay strong, something will come through. It’s clear that you’ve tried so many alternative therapies and if that doesn’t work then I imagine surgery would be a totally valid option. Everyone around me was hesitant, too, and it was so infuriating. Every aspect of my life…mental, physical, social…has completely changed for the better because of this surgery so that’s why I think it’s so frustrating that there are so many gatekeepers, esp for young, strong people who are debilitated by this injury. I’m rooting for you!
Hey I can’t tell you how relieved I was to find your videos which led me here! I’m day 6 post discectomy for left compression and feel like I’m back to square one – I was feeling triumphant in the first 2 days post operatively as my symptoms had significantly diminished, but the 3rd night home I got cramp and leapt from my bed and my left arse cheek and left leg were so painful, just like before the surgery.
I’m trying to think positive, that it’s early days etc but worried I’ve damaged my wound site inside or set myself back some other way. I work as a secretary in a busy hospital and need to sit for long periods typing, already I’m sweating at how I’m going to cope when I get back. Anyway, I just wanted to pop up and thank you for posting your journey with S5/L1 surgery, it’s been a great comfort reading how you managed before and after. My colleagues were sick of my complaining of pain constantly, I’m relieved it wasn’t just me! Take care and thanks again, Phyl Renshaw
Hi Phyllis! I am so sorry you are going through all of this! I hope you continue to heal and get your life back! I know that it can be really scary, every time I felt pain I thought I would be back to square one. But with time that wasn’t the case! So I have my fingers crossed for you and I hope that you will be ok!!
It’s 2 am here in London as I lay in my bed and google what I can ask my dr for next, and I find your blog and find myself laughing while crying as I don’t know how you have been able to deal with for so long . My story is a little different of the duration of how long I have been in pain for but same problem , but for the last15 years I have been careeing for my nonverbal autistic sons hence why for me my mental health has gone down the shitter since this disc started . I think all in all it’s been 6 months , I have been on morphine , tramadol , lyrica , ganbapentome , amynatriptoline and now just the zAppain max does , I m swallowing pills like smarties , so it’s just the start and well I doubt I will be here for very long if something isn’t done ASAP, I will ether OD by accident or jump in front of a train , sad times when you future consists of being peeled of a train . I think the straw that will break the camils back will be the sexual disfunction that’s getting worse , while there used to be so many things that made me happy and so many things I wanted to do , now I just don’t want to be here , it’s scary how they make people wAit for so long ! But hey I guess my new found hate for doctors will probably live on if anything.
Hi Biljana-
I’m so sorry you are going through all of this! 15 years?! That’s so awful. I hope that the wait won’t take forever and thank you for sharing your experience. I hope that you will be able to be fully present and physically capable with your sons! All the best to you!
A very interesting and informative blog. I’ve been dealing with some level of discomfort for almost a year. Past few months, excruciation pain. Have developed scoliosis which is not common. Cannot walk barely, stretching difficult. Even at this point, people i know are already advocating surgery. Chiro no help, pt little help. People have colourful opinions on the matter.
Any event, thanks for your experience. I imagine i will do surgery as nothing else seems to work and it is very depressing. I do hope it allows me to be as mobile as you still seem to be.
Thank you for your post! I have been dealing with this for 4 months now…I have had 8 hip surgeries and first it was hip related..then after calling 911 , being admitted into hospital mainly to get the MRI … this absolute jerk ER doc told me, he has had back. & sciatic pain and it will go away in a couple weeks! What a jerk! Sometimes I REALY hate doctors….
The #1 reason I’m doing this is because I can no longer care fore my granddaughter, in all honesty I think the constant bending over & picking her up probably woke the sleeping monster regarding my herniated disk from 20 yrs ago…
Heading in for my 7:30am surgery tomorrow….praying I don’t have hip problems after.
I hope your surgery went well!
I recently had L4L5 microdiscectomy. The pain I’ve been through is hard to describe. It’s enough saying that I was losing my consciousness twice a day due to the intensity of the pain. Naproxen was like candy to me – doing nothing. Tylenol? Pfff, pure crap. It’s not worth it even for menstrual cramps. I tried medical marijuana. It doesn’t work for this kind of pain. They could take down my pain only with fentanyl and, after that, a week of Oxycodone every 4 hours before surgery. The worst part is that I’ve got some permanent nerve damage, as the first ER denied me MRI and even a simple X-ray, so I had to lose a week paying to a private MRI in the attempt to prove that I actually had a large bulging disc. During this extra week the damage progressed through my leg all the way down to my foot. The ER physician just didn’t believe the intensity of my pain and didn’t even try to think beyond “sciatica”, though I had all the symptoms of a herniated disc. Take care, sometimes they just toss you away like a piece of s*it.
I’m so sorry you have to go through all of this. I really hope you find relief 🙁 thanks for sharing your story, I’m sure a lot of readers can related. Hang in there!